


(and i wonder) what's on your mind.

by flustraaa



Series: the one where they're soulmates [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Clalec BroTP - Freeform, Confused Magnus Bane, Doctor Alec Lightwood, Drunk Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Friend Catarina Loss, How Do I Tag, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Insecure Magnus Bane, Lawyer Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Oblivious Alec Lightwood, Oblivious Magnus Bane, Sick Alec Lightwood, Soulmate AU, alec is a good guy, haters to daters, i dont ship clalec, magnus bane is in love, ummmm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 01:43:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19308088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: "And then you say to me you made a dumb mistakeYou start to tremble and your voice begins to break."from be alright by dean lewis





	(and i wonder) what's on your mind.

**Author's Note:**

> i'd reccomend reading the first part of this series before you read this because unlike my other series this one does go in order, so you may be a bit confused. other than that pls make sure to comment bc it makes me smile (unless it's hate)

Magnus walks into the room full of streamers and glitter and though it’s his best friend’s day— it seems he can only think of _one_ person. 

“ _Magnus_!” The redhead calls, bounding over to him with a grin, “Hi! I thought you were working?” 

Magnus plasters a smile on his face, one that he hopes she won’t see through but from the way her smile falters briefly, it’s clear she observes the change.

“Are you alright?” She inquires, immediately pressing a hand to the back of his head, a motion he’s sure that she’s picked up from Alec checking on his consistently friend group and family.  

“I’m fine,” He murmurs, immediately trying to push the conversation forward, “I finished my case early, and here I am. Happy Birthday, Biscuit.” 

Her eyes remain murky with concern, but her adorably large smile returns. He hands her the present that had been in his hand, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“Thank you, Magnus,” She chirps.

Before she can prance out of sight, Magnus blurts out, tone insecure and he’s sure his eyes are desperate, “Is Alec coming?” 

She sighs, “I’m not sure. He said that there was a pileup and they needed him pretty badly. If he comes, can you get along with him? That’s all I want for my birthday, Magnus.” 

She’s gone before she can hear his mutter of, “Oh, you have no idea.” 

A few hours pass, and suddenly Magnus is about six and a half drinks deep, seemingly forgetting of his drunk endeavour from the week before. 

But it’s when he hears the excited shriek from Clary that he knows that a) the world is about to halt on its axis, or b) he and Alec are going to rip each other’s clothes off. It’ll probably be the former, unfortunately. 

“ _Alec_!” Clary screeches, throwing herself at her friend, “You _came!_ ” 

“ _Course_ I did, Red,” He sighs into her hair, wrapping his arms around her, “Couldn’t miss your twenty-fifth, could I?” 

Magnus forced himself to look at the raven haired man. He’s still in his work clothes, and there’s a stethoscope draped around his neck— Magnus wonders for a moment if he even realises it’s still there. 

His hair is a mess and the shadows under his eyes could give the alley out back a run for its money. He can’t tell if it’s from the extended work period today, or if it’s from what had gone down the week prior— though, Alec is the one who hid everything from everyone for four years. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink, I’ll be back to talk to you in a minute,” He promises, giving her one final squeeze before he disappears, seemingly unaware of Magnus’ presence. 

“Hi,” He mutters to Maia, trying desperately to muster up a smile, “Can I have an IPA, please?”

The look that crosses Maia’s face, is the same dread that fills Magnus’ stomach when he hears the words. Alec never drinks, and the fact that he now means the world is completely consuming him. 

In the four years, they’ve known each other, he’s only ever seen Alec take a sip of Isabelle’s margarita after thirty minutes of coaxing, to which he took a sip far too dainty for his six foot three stature, and immediately leaned back, nodding.

Now, he watches as Maia uncaps the IPA, handing it to Alec. He immediately takes a long slow sip of it, before thanking her and disappearing back into the crowd. 

It takes twenty minutes for Magnus to realise he should find Alec, so he turns from his drink and lets his eyes to roam the area the area. After a moment or two, he finds Alec sipping on a different beer, talking to a group of people. 

Magnus rises, walking towards the group before adjusting rest a hand on Clary’s shoulder, “How is your birthday, Biscuit?” 

“Good,” She simpers distractedly, eyes roaming between Alec and himself, “How are you doing?” 

Magnus throws a glance over at Alec, finding him focused on his shoes, now uninterested and leaning against the wall. As he always is— God, _this_ is the reason Magnus always hated him. 

“It seems like my presence is making _someone_ a little bitter,” Magnus sibilates, and Alec’s eyes snap up, showing that Alec was in fact, listening, “I’ll be at the bar.” 

“No, it’s okay,” Alec declares, “I’ve had a long day anyway, I think I just need to sleep for a day.” 

He brushes through the middle of the group, pressing a light kiss to Clary’s head before disappearing down the hall. 

“What the _hell_ just happened?” Isabelle blurts after a moment passes. 

Magnus shakes his head, shoulders slumping before responding, “I wish I could explain.” 

And then he follows Alec down the hall with a sigh, landing on the boy sitting with his back against the wall, head in his hands and knees to his chest. 

“Alec?” Magnus asks, mild panic seeping through his tone as he takes a few steps towards the man, “Hey, are you okay?” 

The unfocused look Alec gives him when he meets Magnus’ gaze startles Magnus, “Sorry, I guess I’m more tired than I thought. M’fine.” 

Magnus watches as he pushes himself up from the floor, hands pressed heavily against the wall, “Are you sure you’re not drunk?” 

“That’s a good point, I might be a little drunk,” Alec hums, eyes blinking sleepily, before adding, “M’also in the mood for a nap.” 

Magnus has to bite back a laugh at the drowsy look on Alec’s face, “Do you wanna go home?” 

“I walked here from the hospital, and I took an Uber to work this morning because it was early,” he utters, tripping a bit, “Wasn’ safe to be tired and driving.” 

“I’ll get a taxi... and help you to your flat.” 

Alec nods, take a few more steps, stumbling more and more, before Magnus, against his better judgment slips himself under Alec’s shoulder, arm wrapped around his waist. 

“Magnus, you don’t have—“ Alec starts, but Magnus cuts him off. 

“I mean, what are soulmates for, right?” He only receives a half-hearted glower from Alec, but he considers it as growth. They stumble over to the taxi that Magnus hails, flopping in the back, and Alec immediately rests his head back against the seat, closing his eyes. 

“Thank you,” Alec mumbles, once they’ve settled in for the ride that is no doubt going to be insane. It’s rush hour traffic in the _middle_ of New York. 

“You helped me, just consider us even,” Magnus grumbles, watching as Alec furrows his eyebrows adjusting his back against the seat before his features slowly become more relaxed. 

“Lightweight?” The driver asks, throwing a glance at Magnus in the mirror. 

“He’s a Doctor,” Magnus finds himself answering, “Dedicated to his work so he doesn’t drink all to often, let alone get time for himself. It only took a beer and a half.” 

He only nods, focusing his eyes back on the road, “Is that Doctor Lightwood?” 

“Yeah— _How’d_...” 

“My husband was in a crash a few years ago, I took the Taxi job to make sure we had some extra income while he was recovering. Turns out I like it more than I thought,” he says, “I’m a paramedic, but I met Alec after Ren’s surgery. He was really reassuring and my husband eventually made a full recovery.” 

Magnus nods, sending a thoughtful glance at Alec, who had been progressively slipping down the seat closer and closer to Magnus' shoulder. 

“When my husband woke up, he told me that to calm him down Doctor Lightwood told him a story about his soulmate, and how the first time they’d met he’d heard the words on his chest and panicked. Lorenzo said he never told his soulmate that they were the one.” 

Magnus lips part, but he looks at the golden-haired man, urging him to continue. 

“Did he ever say why?” Magnus asks, suddenly thirsting for answers he never knew he wanted— scratch that— needed. 

“He said he reverted to his old self when he realised that his words were gone, told everyone he didn’t have a soulmate mark. But in actuality he just didn’t want to force the person he thought hated him into loving him,” the driver says, just as Alec covers the remaining inches to rest against Magnus' shoulder. 

And it hits Magnus in that moment, that the man snoring softly beside him, sharing body heat, never lied about his motives. 

Whether it’s knowing that Alec truly only ever wanted the best for Magnus, even if it means becoming more of a martyr than usual, or if it’s the idea that his soulmate, his asshole of a soulmate is living and breathing right before him; a feeling of warmth cascades throughout his body. 

He glances at the exhausted man, who now that he really looks, is far more pale than usual, his cheeks flushed a rather morbid shade of crimson and his skin is slick with sweat. 

He presses a ring-clad hand to his soulmate’s—the word sends a wave of odd emotions throughout his body— head, feeling the heat that radiates off of him like a goddamn furnace. 

After a long moment, they come to a halt and Magnus slips cash to the man— now known and Andrew— and wakes Alec, helping him up to his apartment. 

There’s a startling moment when he goes to get Alec a glass of water that he discerns he’s never actually stepped foot in here, and much to his shock, it looks just as he imagined it would. 

Alec is hardly a man of sentiment, but when he finds photographs of him and his family on the walls— halting for a moment when he finds a picture of everyone, including Magnus at his birthday last year— he apprehends that perhaps he’s been hating the idea he formed of Alec all those years ago. 

And when he head to bring the water to Alec’s room, he completely stops when he finds the small room with a twin bed, in neatly made Moana sheets, with a Mulan poster hanging over the bed and stuffed toys scattered about. 

He has a room for Madzie, and Madzie only. 

When he walks back into the bedroom, he finds Alec laying on top of the sheets, just as Magnus had left him, only now he’s shivering. 

He makes a split second decision, ringing Catarina. 

“Magnus?” She asks, “I’m at work—on break, is everything alright?” 

“Yeah, I...” He trails off, unsure of what to say, “Does Alec work tomorrow?” 

“Considering they just offered him to be head of the surgery wing, I’d say probably, why?” Magnus’ breath stutters. 

The moment of silence must cause Catarina to worry even more, “Is everything alright? Magnus—“ 

“Yeah, he hasn’t said anything about it. He’s actually what I’m calling about. He came to Clary’s party, but we’re in his apartment now and he’s all but passed out. I think he has a fever.” 

“Oh,” She murmurs, clearly trying to think. There’s movement on the other end of the line, and she lets out a sigh, “Well, I get off at ten tonight, I can stop by and pick up Madzie and then I’ll come to check on him?” 

“Thank you, Cat,” He breathes, before sitting at Alec’s feet, “Is there anything I can do to help him before then?” 

“Make sure he drinks some water, if he’s still wearing his under scrub clothes have him change, maybe take a shower. But other than that I’ll have to figure out how sick he is. I’ll also go tell the hospital’s chair about his current situation, he’ll be off tomorrow.” 

“I owe you,” He susurrates gratefully. 

“You can pay me back by telling me exactly why you care so much about him suddenly,” Catarina proclaims, tone suspicious. 

“Because,” Magnus breathes, his voice oddly emotional, “I was so, _so_ wrong about him.” 

A long, pregnant moment of silence passes between them before she gasps, “ _Did he tell you about the mark_?”

Magnus finally chokes out an affirmative and Catarina breathes out heavily, “He doesn’t want you to love him because you _have_ to.” 

“I know,” Magnus blurts out, tone gravelly, “But I’ve seen so many sides of him tonight that I’ve never seen before. _God_ , Cat.” 

“It’s okay, I’ll be there soon. Take a deep breath, get him some water.” 

Magnus nods, staying frozen in space for a moment. Then, Alec shuffles against the bed, and it spurs Magnus to life. 

He walks to the edge of the bed, coaxing Alec into a sitting position before having him sip at the water, holding the straw for the shivering man. 

He turns around as Alec changes into the pair of sweat and the t-shirt Magnus pulled from his meticulously organised closet. 

“You _alright_?” Alec whispers, dazed eyes clouding with concern, “You look like you’ve been crying.” 

“I’m fine, Darling,” Magnus breathes, watching as Alec slowly nods, prior to sipping at the water again. 

Magnus sets down the glass once it’s empty, helping Alec lay back down. Just as he goes to get another glass and some ibuprofen, Alec manages out a drained hum. 

“What was that, sweetheart?” Magnus asks, turning to look at the mostly asleep Doctor. 

“Are you leaving?” Alec repeats, this time a look of exhausted sadness covering his features. 

“I’m getting you some water and Advil,” Magnus states, stepping closer, “Do you want something else?” 

“You’re _not_ leaving?” Alec blurts, ignoring Magnus’ lingering question, “You _promise_?” 

Magnus nods, “Catarina is coming in a bit to check on you. But I’ll be here the whole time. Close your eyes, get some _rest_.” 

Alec nods softly, nuzzling into the pillows in such an _un-Alec_ way; one that reeks of domesticity and softness and Magnus’ heart hammers in his chest as he watches his soulmates breaths slow. 

_So yes_ , Magnus thinks distractedly as gentle breaths turn into soft snuffles, _he really could be exactly who I’ve always needed._


End file.
